I’ll quit purging as soon as I stop bingeing.
Bingeing is my real problem.
I would never purge if I didn’t binge.
If you’ve caught yourself thinking like that, you’ve fallen for another ED lie designed to keep you trapped in the b/p cycle for the rest of your life.
When you purge after a binge, you allow the binge. If you had a child who tore apart his room every day, knocking over his bookshelves and shaking out his clothes drawers, but you came in every night and cleaned it up for him, do you think the behavior would stop? Even if you yelled at him, as long as your behavior didn’t change, neither would your child’s behavior. You have removed the consequences.
So even if you hate yourself for bingeing, if you “remove” the consequences by purging, you will never stop. What you have to do – and this may be the scariest thing you do in your entire life – is stop purging after bingeing. You have to hold yourself to your behavior. You can’t give yourself a way out. You have to feel the binge all the way through – what it does to your body, how it hurts, how it makes you feel the next day. That is the only way you will stop. And you know you need to stop.
You will feel bloated. You will feel fat. You will feel thirsty. You will feel angry, depressed, and betrayed. You will have a food hangover. It will suck.
But you will have victoriously defeated another recovery roadblock, and you will be that much closer to a big, fat, juicy life.